Its been a while since I've blogged so felt I at least needed to check in. Today is Friday, but it's my Thursday. Working in a park is wonderful. I've been doing it for almost 9 years. I love being able to go to work, and be surrounded by incredible beauty. I work late tonight, as I will be leading a full moon hike. I work late tomorrow as well. We have a cowboy poet coming to entertain our camping visitors.
But tomorrow is also a good friend's bridal shower. Two weeks ago I missed my nieces 4th birthday. Working on Saturdays isn't bad. That's when the rest of the world plays and it is fun to interact with them. But I have now missed out on 9 years of Saturday family and friend activity.
I had a strange experience last fall/winter. I was miserable. The pull for change was strong. I couldn't "feel" my work. Generally, I can get immersed in my work. Love it. Soak it up. Share it with passion. But not this time. And it lasted for several months. By the time spring/summer hit, I was feeling much better. Work was enjoyable again. Now, however, as mid-summer is upon us, and Fall creeps ever closer, I feel myself loosing that excitement, that love and passion for my job. There is something to be said about working in an area or a field that you absolutely love. There is also the risk that being exposed so often, in a work setting, to those things you love, that you could become desensitized to it all, and loose the excitement and wonder.
While heading up a mountain canyon last night, a moose wondered into the road. It didn't care about the cars (or bikes) passing him. He just nibbled at tasty things on the road, taking his time. As cars slowed down to get a good look at such an incredible animal, I found myself bothered a little, and just wanted them to move along so I could continue on to my destination. That struck me.
The natural world fills my head, heart, and soul. But I wonder if it's becoming just a "job" now. If continuing to work in a park is going to cause me to loose my sense of wonder and awe, then maybe it's time to move on. That may be what I've been feeling lately anyway. The need to move on. Not only for the sake of change, but to keep my sense of adventure and wonder alive.