I sit here looking at the screen wondering just what wants to be written. I have a myriad of things on my mind. Some would be appropriate fodder for this blog; some not.
I love my job. I love what I do and frankly, I'm darn good at it. I love this area. Especially this time of year. I love having the opportunity to be with a group of kids, exploring, searching, discovering and learning about the world around them. I love to aid them in their discovery. And I admit, it boosts my ego when I have a teacher or parent spout about how wonderful I am, how good I am with the kids, and how they don't ever want to see me go. I hear those things and experience the awe and wonder when connections are made, and I wonder why I would ever want to leave. And part of me really doesn't because it is such a great job. However, despite everything that is good about my job, I still find myself experiencing burnout, wondering how to get myself out of this rut I've found myself in.
Then I think about this other job I've applied for. A job 40 minutes closer to my home; a job in the middle of the city; an office job; an office with no windows; a job with new opportunities; opportunities to be involved in the big picture of state park operations; opportunities to travel to other parks, teach and train park staff; be a liaison with other state, federal and private organizations on cultural resource issues; an opportunity to make a difference - behind the scenes, rather than right there in front of the crowd.
Pros and cons.
I would certainly miss the personal interactions with the public, and having part of my work day being spent on a trail, photographing the life around me. I'm good with kids and adults in an educational setting - can I have and show the same dynamic personality with adults in a more "stuffy" setting?
I'm ready to not have to commute 60 minutes one way. I'm ready to not have to work weekends and holidays. I'm ready for a new challenge. For new opportunities.
So, I guess when it all comes down to it, I'm okay (at least for now) with pursuing this office job. There is actually quite a variety in the job responsibilities, and I think I would enjoy it very much, overall.
So, my interview is Tuesday, Oct. 5th. If I do well in that interview, I will be invited back for a second interview on the 11th. If I do well there - I'll be calling and emailing several school teachers with bad news for them and their kids. And I'll be doing it with a touch of (muted) excitement.
If not, well, I'll really have to muster some hidden energy to get out of my current rut.