I have been quite absent from Blogger land lately. But I have good reasons.
My heart and mind have been pre-occupied with other things. And ultimately the final decision was made, and though I feel good about it, and know it was right for me, there is still a sense of loss in having come to that decision. Not regret. Just a little heart-loss.
I applied for a new job, that would have been a huge, positive change professionally. A pay raise, new opportunities, new vistas, great co-workers, on-the-park housing. But as big of a professional change as it would have been, personally it would have been even bigger, but not positive. It would have caused me to relocate four hours away, leave my house, my family, my great neighborhood - things that maybe to some seem small, or manageable. But ultimately, my heart told me what was right.
And so on the day of the interview- today - I called and withdrew it. It did feel right. But still there is loss.
So I just had to put it out there, get it out, and now move on.